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scotty-the-t-rex:
Okay but think about how, in the alternate 2012 timeline, the Time Heist Squad left behind an entire elevator full of Hydra agents who think Captain America is one of them. Think about how Captain America just had his patriotic butt whooped by a doppelgänger who told him Bucky’s still alive and then complimented his ass. He must be so confused. The Hydra agents must be so confused, but like, they’re Hydra. It’s probably in the Secret Evil Organization Handbook to never, ever talk about who’s in it. It’s like the very first rule of being a successful sci-fi Nazi: If you somehow get a guy called Captain America to join a secret Nazi organization, you do not talk about it. You keep that on the down low so that you have the ultimate double agent on your side. So Captain America is probably wandering around in the Good Ol’ 21st century, confused out of his mind, likely wondering what WiFi is and how he can find Bucky and where he can find Bucky and how could Bucky still be alive and is it America’s ass, really? And then one of the SHIELD agents that he’s met maybe like, twice before walks up to him and before Steve can even give so much as a How Do You Freakin’ Do the motherduffer is whispering Hail Hydra in Steve “I committed multiple felonies for the chance to punch Hitler in the face and I never actually got to do it” Rogers’s ear and shoving a briefcase full of soldier enhancement serum and Pentagon secrets and like, the secret recipe for Coca-Cola or whatever it is that secret Nazi organizations care about into his hand. And Steve. Steve may not know how Twitter works. He may not know emoji etiquette yet. He may not know why bananas are suddenly so weird or why having a lot of people following you is now a good thing. But Steve. Steve knows how to fight him some Nazis. He takes the suitcase. He Hail Hydras back. And then he busts his (America’s) ass back to Avengers Tower like guys you will not believe what is going down I thought we were done with Nazis in the FORTIES. Cue the Avengers trying to take down Hydra super early in the game without anyone knowing it’s the Avengers that are attacking the Hydra bases so that Steve can keep playing the double agent. Cue them trying to figure out who they can trust and who they can’t in SHIELD. And every time—every time—they bring someone else into the fold, they have to explain to them they have an agent who’s infiltrated Hydra, and every time, the person in question thinks it’s Natasha.
And no. It’s Steve.
“How in the hell did you convince them that Captain America is a Nazi?”
And that’s the best part.
Because they have no idea.
scotty-the-t-rex:
Okay but think about how, in the alternate 2012 timeline, the Time Heist Squad left behind an entire elevator full of Hydra agents who think Captain America is one of them. Think about how Captain America just had his patriotic butt whooped by a doppelgänger who told him Bucky’s still alive and then complimented his ass. He must be so confused. The Hydra agents must be so confused, but like, they’re Hydra. It’s probably in the Secret Evil Organization Handbook to never, ever talk about who’s in it. It’s like the very first rule of being a successful sci-fi Nazi: If you somehow get a guy called Captain America to join a secret Nazi organization, you do not talk about it. You keep that on the down low so that you have the ultimate double agent on your side. So Captain America is probably wandering around in the Good Ol’ 21st century, confused out of his mind, likely wondering what WiFi is and how he can find Bucky and where he can find Bucky and how could Bucky still be alive and is it America’s ass, really? And then one of the SHIELD agents that he’s met maybe like, twice before walks up to him and before Steve can even give so much as a How Do You Freakin’ Do the motherduffer is whispering Hail Hydra in Steve “I committed multiple felonies for the chance to punch Hitler in the face and I never actually got to do it” Rogers’s ear and shoving a briefcase full of soldier enhancement serum and Pentagon secrets and like, the secret recipe for Coca-Cola or whatever it is that secret Nazi organizations care about into his hand. And Steve. Steve may not know how Twitter works. He may not know emoji etiquette yet. He may not know why bananas are suddenly so weird or why having a lot of people following you is now a good thing. But Steve. Steve knows how to fight him some Nazis. He takes the suitcase. He Hail Hydras back. And then he busts his (America’s) ass back to Avengers Tower like guys you will not believe what is going down I thought we were done with Nazis in the FORTIES. Cue the Avengers trying to take down Hydra super early in the game without anyone knowing it’s the Avengers that are attacking the Hydra bases so that Steve can keep playing the double agent. Cue them trying to figure out who they can trust and who they can’t in SHIELD. And every time—every time—they bring someone else into the fold, they have to explain to them they have an agent who’s infiltrated Hydra, and every time, the person in question thinks it’s Natasha.
And no. It’s Steve.
“How in the hell did you convince them that Captain America is a Nazi?”
And that’s the best part.
Because they have no idea.
