lupin5th

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tygermama:

Harry’s hair would be more slicked back and shinier than Draco could ever hope to achieve

Harry still gets sorted into Gryffindor

Morticia says he gets that from Gomez’ side of the family

door:

formerlyfebricant:

As I said to door :

Wednesday is woefully jealous of how dramatic Harry’s origin is and fiercely protective of him, only SHE is allowed to torture him

fieldbears:

Gomez, being forcibly removed from the stands of a Hogwarts quidditch match for the third time: MY BOY! MY BOY’S UP THERE! HE’S SEEKER!

McGonagall, sweating: Mr. Addams, how do you keep sneaking onto grounds

formerlyfebricant:

Prompt I will never do anything with: instead of being given to the Dursleys, Harry Potter is put up for adoption and is adopted by the Addams Family

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zigster-ao3:

damianimated:

#SupportTransKids

This is such a powerful image. Support those who strive to find their true selves. 

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stanallah:

i feel like i’m losing my mind this is legit the funniest shit i’ve come across

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thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

charismatic-hothead:

thestarbomb:

Things in Starkid musicals that never fail to make me laugh [x]: A Very Potter Musical

HE JUST FUCKIN MOVES ROUND THE CURTAIN OH THAT’S LIKE THE BEST META JOKE I’VE EVER SEEN

The musical that gave us, among other things, Draco Malfoy wanting a rocketship, “Rumbleroar” and of course Cornelius Fudge looking Voldemort in the eye and saying “I STILL DON’T BELIEVE YOU’RE BACK”

In other words, the best Harry Potter adaptation EVER

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deathdaydungeon:

lordhellebore:

p394:

not to get on my anti-rich soapbox here, but i always read snape’s death eater past in the books as a representation of someone from a lower class being spoon-fed racist propaganda and beliefs to provide an artificial feeling of “superiority” over a “lesser” group (muggleborns).  because the 1% of the wizarding world is scared of what sort of social revolutions could happen if everyone banded together against them (pure bloods), and what might happen to their positions.  

deathdaydungeon

Absolutely.

He’s also an excellent example of the supposed ‘worthy’ exception; the purebloods don’t really want to accept his ilk, but it’s important that there’s a widespread belief that you will be welcomed into the upper echelons if you prove yourself worthy - if only you remember to hold your fork correctly, and speak in RP, and earn invitations to the right social gatherings.

From the juxtaposition between Snape as a child and as an adult, we can see that he does make these changes, and he almost passes to the untrained eye as a pureblood.  There’s the odd incongruous slip, which points the reader to his background long before the reveal (such as spitting on the ground, or using a colloquial insult such as dunderhead) - but as HBP shows, he can’t escape his background - figuratively, or literally.

It’s easy to see how an ambitious boy with his background would fall into the clutches of such false promises; he’s intelligent, hard-working, isolated, and earnest - so he believes the propaganda.  In his mind, he’s not like other people from his background.  

And it’s important that he’s useful as a poster boy for the purebloods.  If our assumption that his depiction of his childhood is indicative of a miserable upbringing, with resentment towards both his father (Muggle) and his mother (betrayed the magical community by marrying a Muggle), then he can be held up as an unfortunate example of what can happen if the bloodlines are mixed.  He becomes Unfortunate.  

Potter is a curious series in that the main villain (Riddle) is also a halfblood, and his agenda differs from that of the majority of the purebloods; he’s interested in power and self-preservation, not the subjugation of those with lower blood status - although he certainly uses this as a tool to command power and followers.  It is convenient for Riddle to elevate Snape above others of better backgrounds - such as Lucius - but this is a distraction; it is part of a game where Riddle is punishing others for their failure - Snape’s status here is still unearned.  

It is easy to read Snape as rising to the top of the Death Eater movement and assuming that he overcame the barriers of class, but his entire journey is fraudulent.  He earns neither of his positions through achievement - not even his outward cover story of professor.  He is nothing more than a pawn who is manipulated for Riddle and Dumbledore’s own ends, whilst his own desires are ignored, and once he has served his purpose, he is discarded without care or genuine regret.

There is an equally compelling tale to be told of the make-up of the Order of the Phoenix, and how the freedom fighters are mostly comprised of pureblood wizards such as the Prewetts, the Longbottoms, Alastor Moody, Elphias Doge, Sirius Black and James Potter et al - and how there was unlikely to be a place at the table for someone of Severus Snape’s background.  

In this case, it appears that the elite are so busy fighting the battle between themselves, they forget to welcome the unwashed to the table.  Moreover, they not only fail to court the ordinary worker, but they also fail to counter the misinformation that’s being spread.  It’s crucial that in Snape’s situation that he had his own epiphany; it was not instigated by the side of the light - despite his talents, he was never of any interest to them.  

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dracusfyre:

gahdamnpunk:

I would like to see it

Finally a fresh fucking take on the Joker.

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thetwentycommittee:

yamihiei:

amloveabledeathmo:

mzminola:

twinkie13:

frosttrix:

thepioden:

aenramsden:

I want to see a fanfic where Harry hatches a basilisk.

I want to see a fanfic where he looks up “magical snakes” as soon as he gets to Hogwarts because that thing at the zoo always bugged him, and so the Trio works out that it’s a basilisk immediately after the first petrification in Second Year. But they don’t know how it’s getting around or where it is or anything, so Harry is just like WELP SET A BASILISK TO FIND A BASILISK while Hermione and Ron are like HARRY NO.

I want to see a fanfic where Harry sticks a chicken egg under a toad and makes all these plans about how he’ll talk to his huge deadly snake and get it eye-blinkers and shit so it doesn’t kill people and make sure it’s not too aggressive, and somehow it never occurs to his twelve-year old brain that the chicken egg has a total volume of about four tablespoons and he is not going to get the giant King of Serpents he is expecting.

I want to see a fanfic where it finally breaks out of the shell and Harry finds himself with a bb!basilisk too smol to even have the murder-eyes yet, who can only petrify someone for about half an hour before the effect wears off. She eats spiders and gets tired very easily and demands that he wear a hood she can curl up in and sleep.

(She is also the same vivid green as his eyes and already hideously venomous, but doesn’t like using her fangs because she says they get cold and give her brain freeze when she unsheathes them.)

I just… I really want Harry with a haughty, demanding, arrogant danger noodle who has an overinflated sense of her own importance, views Hedwig as a TERRIFYING MENACE because she isn’t big enough to eat owls yet and keeps up a steady stream of insults hissed in Harry’s ear whenever she’s near someone who has a Dark Mark (which she can sense at close range). And who is basically useless as a familiar because she refuses to slither across anything other than sun-warmed stones or Harry, hasn’t got a very powerful gaze yet and doesn’t like biting people.

(Except snake-arm-people. She finds snake-arm-people confusing and annoying, and would probably make an exception on the no-biting thing where they’re concerned.)

I mean there are obviously a lot of factors influencing snake growth rate but if we assume basilisks just get stupidhuge because they grow their whole lives and are immortal, this snake is probably going to be at least 8 feet long by Deathly Hallows, which is a significant and intimidating chunk of scaly muscle that is intelligent enough to do what it is told. Like, you know, hey, bite this necklace.  

So I mean by like his fourth year it’s going to be pretty hard to hide this snake that is nearly as long as he is tall and it’s not going to do much for his reputation that the Boy Who Lived has a pet fucking basilisk but holy damn does it make book seven a whole hell of a lot shorter. 

I feel like I should write this

can you just imagine him ron and hermione coming up with increasingly ridiculous excuses trying to hide their pet baby basilisk in the dorms (hagrid would be so proud). how long do you think it’d take before harry’s pet basilisk is just a really badly hidden secret between all of gryffindor? and the ensuring antics of the entire house as they try to keep mcgonagall from finding out? (she knows something is up, but even just thinking of what could be big enough the entire house is trying to keep it from her makes her want to break out the firewhiskey)

ron gets the idea to try and practices parseltongue with baby basilisk since he hears harry talking in his sleep with it all the time anyway (and ngl, baby basilisk is kind of adorable and eats all the spiders in the dorm so he doesn’t have to deal with them, he’s pretty smitten once she hatches), and as soon as hermione overhears him trying it, she’s dragging him and harry to the library because, well, parseltongue is a language, why can’t they learn it? so it’s the two of them alternating between hissing at harry and hissing at the basilisk and harry is trying so hard not to laugh because 90% of what they’re saying is utter nonsense and the basilisk doesn’t even bother, because she likes these two humans but wow are they dumb, that’s not how words work.

#i really wish jkr took more advantage of the parseltongue thing

#it was so freaking cute when harry just chatter with the friendly boa constrictor at the zoo

#it was such a nice boa constrictor

#let harry met more nice snakes [tags via twinkie13]

I love parseltongue and Hermione like welp it’s a language and then most everyone in their year ends up learning it even the other houses just like the horrible scary snake language ends up being the secret language between the kids so they can gossip and the teachers are like what. Also Hagrid would love the baby basilisk.

You know most would just pick up a few curse words and insults.

what is everyone else is thinking when the Gryffindors start hissing under their breath? Their table sounds like a snake pit and it’s eerie af. The Slytherins are pissed cause surely this is a joke at their expense. And obviously everyone turns to Harry because he’s the ONLY ONE who could have stared this.

And can you imagine someone flubbing a scentence and activating a parseltounge feature of the castle? A small group of Gryffindors are complaining about astronomy and suddenly the stairs turn into a super slide. Discovering Salazar’s secret liquor cubbord. Secret passage ways being stumbled into left right and center because no one can pronounce ‘greasy git’ in parseltoung(besides Harry) but they’re sure as hell gonna try

What if parseltongue isn’t in any books so Hermione just gets gets harry to say stuff and then she writes it down like

‘Harry I’m tearing my hair out please conjugate “to want” in the present continuous’

‘Hermione it is three in the morning’

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maidenaunt:

maidenaunt:

Upon discovering a French translation of this story, Twain back-translated the story into English, word for word, retaining the French grammatical structure and syntax. He then published all three versions under the title “The Jumping Frog: in English, then in French, and then Clawed Back into a Civilized Language Once More by Patient, Unremunerated Toil”.[6]

Scream

Decided from now on the obligatory format for all fanfiction titles is ‘[Name of Original Work], Clawed Back into a Civilized Language Once More by Patient, Unremunerated Toil’

I second this motion!

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Thanos Demanding Tesseract by Jessi Leigh Thanos Sigh by Jessi Leigh Thanos Shaking Loki by Jessi Leigh Tesseract Falling from Loki by Jessi Leigh Loki Nervous Laughter, Thor Unamused by Jessi Leigh Thanos Shaking Loki by Jessi Leigh Loki Surrounded By Tesseracts by Jessi Leigh You Should Have Gone For The Head by Jessi Leigh Thanos Snap by Jessi Leigh Loki Stabbing Thanos by Jessi Leigh
thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

fierceawakening:

aurora-nerin:

allthingsthorki:

lokid-sherlockian-from-the-shire:

jessiarts:

Finished comic inspired by this post! (I’ll link in replies or reblog, otherwise tumblr won’t let you see my posts!)

Finally posting after teasing it this morning! I hope you like it!Find me elsewhere:  Twitter: jessil_artinstagram: jessilartpillowfort: JessiLeigh

YEESSSS, SOMEONE DREW IT!!! XD

THEY ACTUALLY DID IT I AM SCREAMING

ICONIC

*wheeze*

THIS IS HOW THE FILM SHOULD HAVE ENDED

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therealmcu:

😌😌

insp