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allofthefeelings:

I am super into casually Jewish Jane Foster, who doesn’t keep kosher or know halacha or really do much traditioanlly Jewish outside of trying to honor her Holocaust-survivor grandparents’ memory, right up until the universe is so much bigger than she can comprehend (and she’s spent her whole life looking at the vast unknowable universe but right now is so much) and she shows up at the synagogue her parents still attend, awkward and uncomfortable, like “So I still don’t think I believe in God, but I dated one, and I apparently got snapped out of existence for five years, and now I can lift a magic hammer, and there’s a really hot lady king who for some reason wants to talk to me as much as I want to talk to her, and I have questions” and the rabbi is like “Questions are what we’re good at. Have a seat.”

jane: now, i’m sure we don’t have time to unpack all of that

rabbi, absolutely delighted: oh, it has been a while since you’ve been here

We absolutely have time to unpack all that.

thor, enthusiastically joining jane in exploring her heritage: is bilgesnipe kosher?

valkyrie, slightly hesitant about joining jane in exploring her heritage: is mead kosher?

darcy, about to introduce val to manischewitz:

The 🍎 sauce verses sour cream debate

thor and valkyrie have strong opinions, while jane and darcy are like “both? either? it’s fine?” then thor and val take it to rocket for adjudication.

Rocket, standing in the doorway at 3am, wearing an actual nightgown and old fashioned sleeping cap: You’re all a bunch of idiots. [slams door]

Thor, after a minute: Well… I guess we’ll nev-

Rocket, muffled: It’s Foster, you meatsack. She’s always right.

Jane: [looks smug]

[long pause]

Darcy, still staring at the door: Was… that a talking raccoon in a night cap?

…I am confused. Is this implying that Rocket Raccoon is Jewish?

I thought it was implying Rocket Raccoon was god

oh, man, I am so happy to tell you this.

applesauce vs sour cream isn’t about what’s kosher. it’s about what is the yummiest condiment on latkes.

so i’m making the Very Controversial assertion that Rocket Raccoon is an acknowledged arbiter of taste.

It’s because:

Rocket Raccoon will try anything and

No one seems to be able to find fault with his arguments about food.

hey, i just remembered that i love turning everything marvel into being about food and rocket raccoon

Rocket Racoon watches YouTube cooking shows nonstop, consistently cooks nothing but absolute trash at all times except on like Passover or shit where he throws everyone out of the kitchen and cooks the most insanely good Passover dinners anyone has ever seen, and the only details anyone knows are that he buys no less than 12 lbs of fresh beets for it and says the secret is the vinegar.

okay, but like. can a raccoon technically prepare a kosher meal? does he, a living sentient raccoon, make the cooking space unclean?

So I am the worst person to answer this but first of all, only an especially dickish and very orthodox rabbi is gonna call a thinking and feeling being inherently unclean and two we are talking about casual Judiasm which gets VERY casual and could easily overlook a raccoon.

And he’s technically not a raccoon.