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esorneerg:

So to show solidarity for Eurovision 2020 getting cancelled due to Covid-19, I suggest that on May 16th we all collectively either : 

1.) Set at least one piano on fire on the balcony

2.) Throw golden confetti out the window for five minutes 

3.) Call the neighbor we hate most to tell them they got 0 points at midnight 
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theactualcluegirl:

We should have some kind of a code word for this liminal state tho. There should be a friend-code for “I need to bitch about this right now” versus “Help I am drowning and don’t know how to find the light”

Maybe we could preface the first with “WITNESS ME!”?

itslitfamilia:

Srsly.

brujeriasssssss-deactivated2019:

!!! F !!! U !!! C !!! K !!!

aidashakur:

Storytime:

Dec. 31st, 2019 07:48 pm
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xiaq:

Academics are the pettiest assholes you will ever meet and I say that with a lot of love and affection because I am one. Let me give you an example:

First some context: Back in 2007, I was a sophomore in high school and I was minding my own business, trying to get my Harry Potter fan fic fix, when a Whole Bunch of Drama started about fan archives and the OTW and the folks proposing the archive that is now the AO3. 

I thought the OTW folks had the right idea. After strikethrough and boldthrough and the FF.net purges, they were willing to not only make us a free archive that promised no censorship or deletions or trying to profit off fan work, but they were also willing to put their own real-life professional selves at risk to defend fan writing as protected by fair use. These ladies were #goals to my 15-yr-old self. 

Except obviously there were detractors. They were a minority, but they were vocal. And I recall reading multiple LJ posts from “anti-OTW” blogs and being So Angry because if a 15 yr old like me could go study up on copyright law and agree with the OTW (with, you know, actual lawyers and law professors on their board) how were these adults getting things So Wrong? In some cases, it seemed they were even blatantly spreading misinformation. Why?? Except when I tried to point this out I was treated… let’s go with “badly.”

Ok flash forward a decade and change: I’m now writing my dissertation about digital fandom with a focus on the AO3. It’s the most-trafficked fan archive in the world and the second-most trafficked digital archive full stop. It just won a Hugo. I’m having a lovely time interviewing all my teenage heroes. I’m living the dream. And then it came time to write about criticisms or detractors in the archive’s history. Some concerns are very valid, and I have over a dozen pages talking about these serious, often complex, criticisms. But you wanna know what else I did?

I went back and I found my journal from 2007.

I found the names of those posters on LJ who had such derogatory things to say about the OTW and the AO3, who took so much pleasure in bashing a 15-yr-old who didn’t understand why they were spreading misinformation. I found the old LJ posts (I had to use the Wayback Machine for those that had been taken down). I referenced some of those posts in my dissertation. I illustrated that every legal complaint, every fear (and fear-mongering tactic they used) was proven unfounded. I spent probably more time than I should going through their archives to discover that nearly all of them migrated to AO3 within 2 years of, often vitriolic, condemnations of the AO3. I footnoted this fact with a degree of euphoric malevolence that frightens even me.

Why?

Because academics are petty assholes.
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dollsahoy:

so I had a dream this morning that the BBC made another Sherlock Holmes series.  This one was set in the Victorian Era and featured a more book-accurate (and extremely enthusiastic-for-everything) younger Holmes, when he was first starting the whole consulting detective thing

and starred John Boyega as young Holmes

Watson was also played by a Black British actor, but my brain didn’t ID him.

needless to say, Tumblr lit up–so many photosets of John Boyega in period costume (and praise for the costume designer being aware of the historical importance of synthetic dyes at the time–the first photos of Boyega in costume featured a bright mustard yellow suit and cap), so much ebullience for the characterization and portrayal, so many thinkpieces that detailed just how bad the Benedumberbaffat version was, so much mockery of the “that’s not historically accurate!!!!!!” tweets, and serious wondering if Boyega would be more remembered for that than for Star Wars
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copperbadge:

prokopetz:

agni-kai13:

prokopetz:

resplendentgoldenwings:

prokopetz:

prokopetz:

The Great Gatsby enters the public domain in 2021. If at least one of us doesn’t have an unauthorised sequel ready to publish on January 1st at 12:01 sharp, I will be very disappointed.

I’m guessing the folks in the notes going “oh no, there’s not enough time!” fall into one of two groups:

1. People who misread the year and don’t realise I’m talking about a deadline fourteen months from now.

2. People who have an uncommonly realistic notion of the pace of their writing.

I’m #2

Plus I would imagine F. Scott Fitzgerald’s estate will probably renew the copyright.

That’s not how it works. There hasn’t been any such thing as copyright renewal for a long time, and even when copyright renewal was a thing, the effect of renewing was to prevent the relevant rights from expiring early, not to extend them beyond the usual statutory limit. With the exception of audio recordings, works published between 1923 and 1976 cap out at the date of publication plus 95 years – and that span is up for The Great Gatsby on January 1st, 2021.

so i could totally put gatsby into my sherlock and dracula story? 

Yes, though you might have to wait a bit longer if you’re inclined to be picky about your timelines; while the bulk of the Sherlock Holmes canon is unencumbered by copyright, the last few short stories that cover the period of Holmes’ retirement – which is where his lifetime lines up with the events of The Great Gatsby – don’t enter the public domain until 2023.

(Holmes would canonically be 68 years old when the summer of 1922 chronicled in The Great Gatsby goes down, for the curious. How precisely he’d be induced to set aside his beekeeping and take a trip to Long Island at that age, I leave as an exercise for the inventive writer!)

Shit, I still have time to write Nobody’s Little Fool, my Great Gatsby sequel where the publishing of The Great Gatsby leads to Tom Buchanan murdering Daisy, and twenty years later their daughter sets out to write a scathing tell-all that will ruin Nick Carraway for his part in her mother’s murder, set against a backdrop of late-Depression-era Chicago. 
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The Norwegian Civil War:

copperbadge:

Title: The Norwegian Civil War 
Rating: General Audiences
Summary: It had never been Aziraphale’s intention to found a sort of secret society of angry angels. Certainly he’d never even imagined he might run a halfway house on Earth for them. 

***

If an archangel were going to come to him, it was perhaps least surprising that it was Uriel.

News of Aziraphale’s treason had been very limited.* Only Gabriel, Uriel, and Sandalphon had been in the execution chamber. They’d probably told Michael, but not anyone else. Gabriel was, Aziraphale now recognized, the sort of crazy that’s gone through sane and out the other side; the kind of company man who has lost a sense of reason in maintaining a sense of loyalty. Michael was playing a long game of some kind, and Sandalphon was just what the humans would call a psychopath. 

* They’d intended to put out the press release after Aziraphale’s execution. 

But Uriel was a bit more of an enigma, and so when they showed up in the bookshop, it seemed almost rational.

Mind you, Aziraphale was having none of Heaven’s nonsense anymore. He’d asked Crowley – tit for tat in re: holy water – for some hellfire, and Crowley had said absolutely not, it was far too volatile, especially around the books. He’d had a point but, as much as it pained Aziraphale to admit it, books were immaterial if Heaven wanted you dead. Eventually they’d settled on a compromise, and the Hell Aga stood in a corner of the shop with the tip of a poker eternally heating in it. 

When Uriel manifested in the bookshop, Aziraphale blanched for a second, then remembered the Hell Aga and reached for the poker tucked into its infernal oven, brandishing it defensively. Uriel eyeballed the glowing poker warily. 

“Aziraphale,” they said, eyes never leaving the red glow. “I’ve come under a treaty flag.”

“Funny, I don’t remember agreeing to any treaties before you consigned me to hellfire,” Aziraphale retorted. 

“Fine. A flag of surrender, then,” Uriel said, spreading their hands and their wings, showing they were unarmed. “I only want to talk. I have….”

They paused so long Aziraphale grew suspicious, until finally they sighed.

“I have questions,” they finished quietly. 

Read on here!
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colt-kun:

Apparently at my niece’s school the girls have started chanting “underwear” during class anytime they see a boy’s boxers from his pants being too low to protest against the teachers dress coding them for bra straps.

I’m laughing too hard to respond to my sister.
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quote:

I’m always fascinated by the line “we don’t want to become minorities in our own country”. Why not? Are they treated badly or something?
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copperbadge:

themiscyra1983:

copperbadge:

classics-suggestion:

ancientgreeksuggestions:

If you don’t have actual wings to escape Crete with your son, home-made is fine

No It Isn’t

Well it WOULD BE if Millennials would stop KILLING THE WAX WING INDUSTRY

WHY DO MILLENNIALS WANT TO FUCK THE SUN

Because it’s hot
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jabberwockypie:

nathanpikajew:

pyrrhiccomedy:

perfectly-generic-blog:

angel-of-double-death:

haiku-robot:

dorito-and-pinetree:

galahadwilder:

A sudden, terrifying thought

When you see an animal with its eyes set to the front, like wolves, or humans, that’s usually a predator animal.

If you see an animal with its eyes set farther back, though—to the side—that animal is prey.

Now look at this dragon.

See those eyes?

They’re to the SIDE.

This raises an interesting—and terrifying—question.

What in the name of Lovecraft led evolution to consider DRAGONS…

As PREY?

I know this isn’t part of my blogs theme but like this is interesting

i know this isn’t part of my blogs theme but like this is interesting

^Haiku^bot^8. I detect haikus with 5-7-5 format. Sometimes I make mistakes. | @image-transcribing-bot @portmanteau-bot | Contact | HAIKU BOT NO | Good bot! | Beep-boop!

@howdidigetinvolved

The eyes-in-the-front thing (usually) only applies to mammals. Crocodiles, arguably the inspiration for dragons, have eyes that look to the sides despite being a predator.

hey what up I’m about to be That Asshole

This isn’t a mammalian thing. When people talk about ‘eyes on the front’ or ‘eyes on the side,’ they’re really talking about binocular vision vs monocular vision. Binocular vision is more advantageous for predators because it’s what gives you depth perception; i.e, the distance you need to leap, lunge, or swipe to take out the fast-moving thing in front of you. Any animal that can position its eyes in a way that it has overlapping fields of vision has binocular vision. That includes a lot of predatory reptiles, including komodo dragons, monitor lizards, and chameleons.

(The eyes-in-front = predator / eyes-on-sides = prey thing holds true far more regularly for birds than it does for mammals. Consider owls, hawks, and falcons vs parrots, sparrows, and doves.)

But it’s not like binocular vision is inherently “better” than monocular vision. It’s a trade-off: you get better at leap-strike-kill, but your field of vision is commensurately restricted, meaning you see less stuff. Sometimes, the evolutionary benefit of binocular vision just doesn’t outweigh the benefit of seeing the other guy coming. Very few forms of aquatic life have binocular vision unless they have eye stalks, predator or not, because if you live underwater, the threat could be coming from literally any direction, so you want as wide a field of view as you can get. If you see a predator working monocular vision, it’s a pretty safe assumption that there is something else out there dangerous enough that their survival is aided more by knowing where it is than reliably getting food inside their mouths.

For example, if you are a crocodile, there is a decent chance that a hippo will cruise up your shit and bite you in half. I’d say that makes monocular vision worthwhile.

Which brings us back to OP’s point. Why would dragon evolution favor field of view over depth perception?

A lot of the stories I’ve read painted the biggest threats to dragons (until knights with little shiny sticks came along) as other dragons. Dragons fight each other, dragons have wars. And like fish, a dragon would need to worry about another dragon coming in from any angle. That’s a major point in favor of monocular vision. Moreover, you don’t need depth perception in order to hunt if you can breathe fucking fire. A flamethrower is not a precision weapon. If you can torch everything in front of you, who cares if your prey is 5 feet away or 20? Burn it all and sift among the rubble for meat once everything stops moving.

Really, why would dragons have eyes on the front of their heads? Seems like they’ve got the right idea to me.

this is some good dragon discourse right here, 10/10, and i dont mean to derail the whole thing away from the eyes, but i feel obligated to mention that in many stories and accurate to some reptiles, dragons have an extremely acute sense of smell/taste which would definitely help narrow down the depth perception issue. things smell stronger the closer they are. and i feel like i read somewhere that a blind snake can flick the air with its tongue and track its target mouse with no trouble at all. gotta imagine the “great serpents of the sky” had some pretty advanced biology. enough to make field of view win out against depth perception.

anywho. cool stuff. fear the dragons even if they are the prey cause they still beat us on the food chain.

“A flamethrower is not a precision weapon. If you can torch everything in
front of you, who cares if your prey is 5 feet away or 20? Burn it all
and sift among the rubble for meat once everything stops moving.”
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lauramkaye:

notallwerewolves:

mirrormaskcamera:

tanyaclose:

Illustration in Ladies Home Journal, June 1940

Tom Lovell

this looks like red has just this moment decided to murder grey’s husband

^ Accurate

Evie had always been such a happy girl. 

Josephine had never really understood it–the world had always seemed to her a serious place, disaster always lurking just around the corner. Perhaps it was because of the way she’d grown up, living hardscrabble with her mother and grandmother, her father having succumbed to the mustard gas in the war before she’d even made her appearance, leaving her with only her name and the color of her eyes to know him by. Perhaps it was just Evie’s sunny nature, that always looked for the best in people, that went through life with a song always on her lips.

Josephine had no sisters, and she didn’t have time for friends, but Evie had always been both to her. Both, and something more besides: something tender and precious, to be sheltered and preserved.

She’d had her misgivings, when Evie started walking out with the butcher’s son George. The old man was kind, true, but his son always seemed a little too eager with the cleavers, too pushy with the girls, too free with his hands.

Evie only saw the good in him. “He feels he has to put on a show with the other fellows, Jo,” she’d said, “but he always treats me nice. He wants to keep me like a fine lady, he says, all fancy like a jewel in a shop window. And he’ll have the shop, some day. He can keep a family. I think we can be happy together.”

It had hurt, somewhere inside behind her ribs, but Josephine had told herself she was being absurd. Of course Evie deserved it, the man and the shop and the family, all of it. 

She had looked tiny and delicate and lovely, standing up beside George in her wedding dress, her hair shining nearly silver where the light hit it. After, Josephine had watched them walk away together and told herself she was crying because she was happy.

She didn’t see Evie again for a while, but that wasn’t such a surprise; Evie was a new bride with a home to make, and besides, the old butcher’s health had started to fail. It was a surprise, then, when the knock came at her door one night after supper, and she opened it to find Evie on the other side.

Evie, but not Evie, not really; Evie with her lips turned down, no laughter in her eyes.

She said there wasn’t anything wrong. She was just a little lonely; George had to be out on business often, of an evening. 

“You can always come to me, darling,” Josephine told her, and a little light came back into Evie’s eyes.

“Good old Jo,” she said, her voice wistful. “How I have missed you.”

Life went on. Evie was tired, now. George was gone a lot, for the business, she said, and there was so much to do. “We just have to get established, Jo,” she said. “It’s been hard, with George’s father so ill, and the shop to run, but a few more years, he says, and we’ll have some space. He wants to buy me a house one day, have I told you? We’ll have room for you to come and stay, and we’ll all be so happy together.”

George’s father died, and the shop did a good business, but no more was said about buying a house.

It was several months later when it happened. Josephine was just starting her meal when the knocking started, frantic and light like the hammering of a bird on a window. When she opened the door, Evie nearly collapsed into her arms.

She looked a fright: shirt torn, face bruised and bloody. It took nearly an hour to get the story out of her, whispered between sobs that shook her thin body. Coming home early from visiting her mother. Finding George with another woman in their bed. The things he’d shouted at her, the horrible things; how she was ugly and cold, no kind of wife.

The way he’d backhanded her into the bureau. 

The precious, happy secret she’d been planning to tell him. The one that had her doubled over now, sick with fear. The baby.

Josephine shushed her, stroking her hair, letting her hide her poor face while she wept.

“Oh, darling,” she said. “My poor darling.”

When Evie had cried herself pliant, Josephine helped her into her own nightdress and put her to sleep in her own bed, with a sleeping tablet for peaceful dreams.

Then she put on her business clothes and went to pay a call.

She didn’t have many friends, but there were a lot of people who owed her favors. She had quite a line in the trading of secrets, in the opening and shutting of doors.

The next morning, the butcher’s boy was opening the shop alone.

“Where’s George?” Josephine asked him, while he packaged up a pound of sausages. Evie had always been fond of sausages.

“He had to go away on business,” the boy replied. “And Miss Evie, she’s off to her mother’s.” 

“Well, I wish them safe travels,” Josephine said, and went home to make Evie some breakfast.

The news came later that day. There had been a robbery. Terrible business. Everyone was so grieved for the young widow.

Josephine moved in above the shop to help out. Evie needed her, after all; she had the shop to deal with, and there would be the baby soon.

When the baby came, it was a little girl. Evie was white and weary, but the light was in her eyes again as she looked at Josephine over the little bundle.

“Isn’t she beautiful, Jo?” she said. “What shall we call her?”

“I’ve always liked the name Judith,” Josephine said, thinking of a cruel man, of a bright blade.

“Judith,” Evie said. “Yes, I like that.” She reached out a hand, and Josephine took it. 

“We’ll bring her up properly,” Josephine said.

“You won’t be leaving us, then, Jo? Surely you’ll want to find a husband some day.”

“I think we’ve had enough of husbands,” Josephine said. “We shall do very well with just us three.”

Evie smiled. “I’m so selfish,” she whispered. “I know I hadn’t ought to say, but I’m so glad, Jo, for you to stay with us.”

“So am I, darling,” Josephine said, gladness rising like a fire in her heart. “So am I.”

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