lupin5th

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grayglacianqueen:

jadelyn:

naamahdarling:

naamahdarling:

peach-tea-rose:

No matter how many times you fail to meet your own expectations, you have to forgive yourself. Despite contrary belief, dwelling on and badgering yourself over your faults doesn’t ever help you grow into who you want to be.

It’s like gardening: if your flower isn’t blossoming like you want it to, you don’t rip out its leaves as punishment for failing to satisfy you. You recognize the problem and figure out what’s going wrong with its environment so you can modify it, giving the flower a chance to bloom in its own time.

Accept your shortcoming or setback, forgive yourself, and figure out what’s going wrong so that you can plan for how to prevent it from repeating in the future. Thank your past self for trying in the first place and then give your future self the love needed to flourish.

I am almost affronted at how good and forgiving this advice is.

Flawless positivity.

Listen.

I read once, don’t remembet where or know if it’s true, that in order to train an animal and to remain good friends with it, you need a 5/1 ratio of positive vs. negative interactions. So for every interaction that the animal considers negative - pilling a cat, for example - you need FIVE positive interactions, such as treats, cuddles, play, or praise if you want to remain on the best possible terms with it.

This applies to your relationship with yourself.

If you aren’t positively interacting with yourself but are instead consistently berating, punishing, or being disgusted with yourself, you are 100% going to have a lot of emotional pain.

You aren’t perfect. Nobody is and nobody should feel like they have to be. You will make mistakes. And contrary to what a lot of folks, self included, seem to believe, being mean to yourself because you think you “deserve” it won’t actually help you learn or becone a better person.

All it does is teach you not to trust yourself, and teach you that you will always disappoint yourself. You take on a toxic relationship with yourself where you play both parts. It’s terrible.

So yes, you HAVE to learn to forgive yourself. You actually cannot grow effectively in the confines of a toxic relationship. Including one you have with yourself.

I know it isn’t easy, I have a hard time too, but it is so, so necessary.

You can’t hate yourself into being happy.

I don’t remember where I read this but it literally changed my life and how I approach growth and personal development. It can be hard to keep in mind sometimes, but it puts it in a way that’s hard to argue with.

Cat, who plays Boblem on nyxrising ‘s Life of the Party D&D show put this beautifully into words, and I cry each time I read these words:

“You know, people are kinda like trees, kinda like a plant. So here’s how I see it: when a plant is not really growing, or if it’s decaying, you don’t get angry at the plant and go ‘why don’t you grow?!’ You try to feed it back into health, you know? And I think it’s the same with people. Instead of getting angry at yourself for things you might not like about you, you should try to nourish yourself. Back into health. Does that make sense?”

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jadelyn:

naamahdarling:

naamahdarling:

peach-tea-rose:

No matter how many times you fail to meet your own expectations, you have to forgive yourself. Despite contrary belief, dwelling on and badgering yourself over your faults doesn’t ever help you grow into who you want to be.

It’s like gardening: if your flower isn’t blossoming like you want it to, you don’t rip out its leaves as punishment for failing to satisfy you. You recognize the problem and figure out what’s going wrong with its environment so you can modify it, giving the flower a chance to bloom in its own time.

Accept your shortcoming or setback, forgive yourself, and figure out what’s going wrong so that you can plan for how to prevent it from repeating in the future. Thank your past self for trying in the first place and then give your future self the love needed to flourish.

I am almost affronted at how good and forgiving this advice is.

Flawless positivity.

Listen.

I read once, don’t remembet where or know if it’s true, that in order to train an animal and to remain good friends with it, you need a 5/1 ratio of positive vs. negative interactions. So for every interaction that the animal considers negative - pilling a cat, for example - you need FIVE positive interactions, such as treats, cuddles, play, or praise if you want to remain on the best possible terms with it.

This applies to your relationship with yourself.

If you aren’t positively interacting with yourself but are instead consistently berating, punishing, or being disgusted with yourself, you are 100% going to have a lot of emotional pain.

You aren’t perfect. Nobody is and nobody should feel like they have to be. You will make mistakes. And contrary to what a lot of folks, self included, seem to believe, being mean to yourself because you think you “deserve” it won’t actually help you learn or becone a better person.

All it does is teach you not to trust yourself, and teach you that you will always disappoint yourself. You take on a toxic relationship with yourself where you play both parts. It’s terrible.

So yes, you HAVE to learn to forgive yourself. You actually cannot grow effectively in the confines of a toxic relationship. Including one you have with yourself.

I know it isn’t easy, I have a hard time too, but it is so, so necessary.

You can’t hate yourself into being happy.

I don’t remember where I read this but it literally changed my life and how I approach growth and personal development. It can be hard to keep in mind sometimes, but it puts it in a way that’s hard to argue with.

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everythingfox:

Stare into the void

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dailytweets:

This is what happens when a bubble freezes

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andersonsallpurpose:

you have been visited by the cat of to do (void where prohibited, conditions apply)

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christinaroseandrews:

nudityandnerdery:

This guy knows what he’s talking about. He’s one of the lead writers for Leverage and if you ever watch the series on DVD, do yourself a favor and listen to him talk about how the scripts got written. Some of the advice he has is stuff I use all the time:
1. Don’t introduce an important plot person or thing after the first half of the story.
2. Always tie up loose ends.
3. Introduce important things in the middle of unimportant things.
4. If you have to infodump, find an emotion to tie it to and it will seem less like infodump and more like a motive rant.

Seriously this guy knows how to write.

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naamahdarling:

naamahdarling:

nervosityperson:

theveryworstthing:

theveryworstthing:

theveryworstthing:

the fight is harder each year.

gotta keep going because nothing ever stops.

you deserve to be new and whole.

Can someone explain what’s happening besides someone being reborn?

In the first comic, which is from the Warrior’s point of view, the Warrior has defeated the Monster, who jeers that there will always be another Monster to fight. The Monster dissolves into mist, leaving another tiny, baby Monster in its place. The Warrior picks up this helpless new baby Monster and carries it away. They will try again and do better this time.

In the second comic, which is from the Monster’s point of view, the Monster says that this has to happen; it can’t come with the Warrior, and there will always be another.  It tells the Warrior to use what they have learned to fight.  It wants to die knowing that the Warrior has hope for the future.  It dissolves into mist, and the exhausted Warrior collapses. The new baby Monster comes and brings the Warrior some water in a leaf.  Because we are reading this in the Monster’s voice, we realize that it is a new Monster, but also somehow, magically, the same.  We also see that the Monster is not inherently evil.  It is only very strong, and inevitable.

The third comic is a dialogue between the Monster and the Warrior.  The Warrior is exhausted and horrifically wounded. The Monster is also horribly maimed.  They are both dying. The Warrior doesn’t want to fight anymore.  The Monster tells them to rest and heal. The Warrior hands over their amulet, and we see the Monster’s paw become a hand just before they both dissolve into mist.  It clears, revealing that the Monster has turned into a beautiful humanoid, who says they will take care of the new baby monster the Warrior has turned into.  The two have changed roles.  The Warrior takes up the former Warrior’s gear and strides into the new year with the new baby Monster riding on their shoulders.

It is a beautiful, ruthless, hopeful metaphor about keeping up the good fight, year after year, even when we are worn down, and how we can still face the new year with hope and light, no matter how painful the last one was, and how it is okay to rest if we can’t fight.

It’s not the new year, but things are so difficult for so many of us right now, and we are so worn down from so many fights on so many fronts, I feel like we could all use this again.  Love, rest, fight, love.

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thescouring:

“Being able to feel safe with other people is probably the single most important aspect of mental health; safe connections are fundamental to meaningful and satisfying lives. Numerous studies of disaster response around the globe have shown that social support is the most powerful protection against becoming overwhelmed by stress and trauma.

Social support is not the same as merely being in the presence of others. The critical issue is reciprocity: being truly heard and seen by the people around us, feeling that we are held in someone else’s mind and heart. For our physiology to calm down, heal, and grow we need a visceral feeling of safety.”

—Bessel A. van der Kolk, The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma (pdf)

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highvelocitysandwich:

bomberqueen17:

flavoracle:

Mental Crop Rotation

When farmers grow the same crop too many years in a row, it can leave their soil depleted of minerals and other nutrients that are vital to the health of their fields.

To avoid this, farmers will often alternate the crops that they grow because some plants will use up different minerals (such as nitrogen) while other plants replenish those minerals. This process is known as “crop rotation.”

So the next time you find that you need to step away from a project to work on something else for a while, don’t beat yourself up for “quitting” that project. Give yourself permission to practice “mental crop rotation” to maintain a healthy brain field.

Because I’ve found that when that unnecessary guilt and pressure are removed from the process, a good mental crop rotation can help you feel more energized and invigorated than ever once you’re ready to rotate back to that project.

: A crucial part of crop rotation is that the field is let fallow sometimes. You plant what’s called a “cover crop”, which is something you don’t expect to harvest– it’s there for its roots to hold the soil in place, and often it’ll be what’s called a nitrogen-fixer, i.e. a plant that can pull nitrogen out of the air and fix it into the soil with its roots (but sometimes it won’t, sometimes it’s really just there to shelter the soil surface), and then you’ll till in that cover crop, or let the frost kill it and the stalks lie as mulch, and then you’ll rotate productive crops back into that field the next season. 

It’s important, though, to understand that during the fallow period, no nutrients are removed from that ground, and nothing is expected of it. Whatever the land grows then, it keeps, and it gets tilled back in or decomposes in place, to return its energy to the earth.

We’re not allowed, in our current society, to just let our minds be fallow for a bit, to produce nothing for export, to make nothing that can be sold. But it’s part of good land stewardship, to give every field time when it doesn’t need to give you anything back. 

So yes, grow and produce different things from time to time, rotate them around your mind and exercise different mental muscles, take different things from your creative processes, yes– but also, give yourself a fallow spell now and again, and let the field of your mind grow things for itself to keep, to break down and save for later. 

Positive mental health AND agriculture??!?

*slams reblog button*

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iraprince:

iraprince:

HI IT’S ME AGAIN

YOU’RE FUCKING UP YOUR TEETH AND YOUR MUSCLES AND SHIT

WHEN I CATCH YOU WITH ONE OF THESE I STEAL A FEW MINUTES OF YOUR LIFE FORCE. WHEN YOU ARE NOT CLENCHING WHEN YOU SEE ONE OF THESE, YOU GET TO STEAL A FEW MINUTES BACK. WE’LL SEE WHO’S LEFT STANDING IN THE END