Fuck you, headmeat.
Sep. 18th, 2019 07:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
lupin5thvia https://ift.tt/2If7ex3
theactualcluegirl:
I hate the way anxiety can fuck up a whole week without ever letting you know that you’re not really mad at everything in the world – it’s just you’re afraid, you can’t directly confront, or possibly even perceive what’s frightening you, (which, by the way, might not even be a real thing at all anyway,) and rage is the only way your brain can think of to empower you.
So you spend days picking fights with shadow people in your head, ramping up to swinging mad over stupid shit in traffic, online, and in your own damned imagination, and no amount of CBT can make you calm the fuck down about it, because you’re just yelling at yourself, and that only makes the fear and distrust of the world worse, because now not even YOU are on your own side, and you still can’t see the danger coming, and how the fuck are you supposed to survive stacked odds like THOSE?
And once you do manage to STFD and ask your subconscious what it’s freaking out about, and you figure out it’s only a stupid trauma ghost, and you’ve been fighting it so hard it’s sucked the joy out of half a week, and you just want to stab yourself in the frontal lobe with a powder blue crayon.
Brains are dumb. I kinda hate them right now.
theactualcluegirl:
I hate the way anxiety can fuck up a whole week without ever letting you know that you’re not really mad at everything in the world – it’s just you’re afraid, you can’t directly confront, or possibly even perceive what’s frightening you, (which, by the way, might not even be a real thing at all anyway,) and rage is the only way your brain can think of to empower you.
So you spend days picking fights with shadow people in your head, ramping up to swinging mad over stupid shit in traffic, online, and in your own damned imagination, and no amount of CBT can make you calm the fuck down about it, because you’re just yelling at yourself, and that only makes the fear and distrust of the world worse, because now not even YOU are on your own side, and you still can’t see the danger coming, and how the fuck are you supposed to survive stacked odds like THOSE?
And once you do manage to STFD and ask your subconscious what it’s freaking out about, and you figure out it’s only a stupid trauma ghost, and you’ve been fighting it so hard it’s sucked the joy out of half a week, and you just want to stab yourself in the frontal lobe with a powder blue crayon.
Brains are dumb. I kinda hate them right now.
