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mumblingsage:
kyraneko:
mikkeneko:
glumshoe:
Another thing I love in fiction is when dialogue immediately echoes the same phrasing used in the narration. It can be startling and funny.
Ex.:
As they made their way back to the car, Farad felt the prickle of eyes upon him. He looked around and spotted the culprits—perched on the roof of a van, a gaggle of dour-faced teenagers was watching them judgmentally.
“Don’t look now,” he whispered to his companion, “But a gaggle of dour-faced teenagers is watching us judgementally.”
This can be used as a great character establishing trick too, eg.
What the fuck, she thought, and then because she was never the sort of person to sit on her feelings, said aloud “What the fuck?”
It works great the other direction, too.
“Fuck yourself dead, you half-blazed, fully-degenerate asshole!”
The half-blazed, fully-degenerate asshole in question declined to do so, and instead threw herself bodily at the other woman with the full intention to claw her to shreds.
I love it when the narration and dialogue are at odds:
From the roof of the van, a gaggle of dour-faced teenagers watched them judgementally.
“Let’s not interrupt those busy-looking gentlepersons,” Farad remarked to his companion.
mumblingsage:
kyraneko:
mikkeneko:
glumshoe:
Another thing I love in fiction is when dialogue immediately echoes the same phrasing used in the narration. It can be startling and funny.
Ex.:
As they made their way back to the car, Farad felt the prickle of eyes upon him. He looked around and spotted the culprits—perched on the roof of a van, a gaggle of dour-faced teenagers was watching them judgmentally.
“Don’t look now,” he whispered to his companion, “But a gaggle of dour-faced teenagers is watching us judgementally.”
This can be used as a great character establishing trick too, eg.
What the fuck, she thought, and then because she was never the sort of person to sit on her feelings, said aloud “What the fuck?”
It works great the other direction, too.
“Fuck yourself dead, you half-blazed, fully-degenerate asshole!”
The half-blazed, fully-degenerate asshole in question declined to do so, and instead threw herself bodily at the other woman with the full intention to claw her to shreds.
I love it when the narration and dialogue are at odds:
From the roof of the van, a gaggle of dour-faced teenagers watched them judgementally.
“Let’s not interrupt those busy-looking gentlepersons,” Farad remarked to his companion.
