lupin5th

via http://bit.ly/2BalhAj

greenekangaroo:

ifridiot:

thorinsmut:

Ok, if we’re reembracing the citrus fruits categories in this age of the puritanical overlords of tunglr, and @ifridiot is writing a fic that’s a Buddha’s Hand bc tentacles, like… where does that leave the rest of the odd citrus? Where is yuzu on this scale? Pomelo? Bergamot? fuckin’, Finger Limes!?

Someone tell me what a kumquat is. I want to write one but, like… how?

THE SCALE IS THUS

Orange: They say I love you. Hug, maybe. A kiss might make people gasp.

Lime: It’s Implied Heavily That Sex Happens.

Finger Limes: It’s just above a fade-to-black; 3 paragraphs of a multichap fic detailing the sex

Lemon: You know Exactly what happened, and it was Sex.

Yuzu: Very Emotional Sex

Pomelo: The Sex Was Just Business (seduction for a spy job or prostitution with no hidden emotions;; it’s almost incidental)

Grapefruit: Kinky Sex Happened

Bergamont: Kinky Sex With Complicated Emotions

Buddha’s Hand: Now here you’ve got your hard kinks, your monster fucking, your tentacles, your xenophilia.

All ye young ones, gather around, and witness the rebirth of a GOD.

For if you cannot tag anything as not safe for work, you can most certainly insinuate its citrusy deliciousness.