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copperbadge:
hyvetyrant:
copperbadge:
drgaellon:
magicianmew:
oddsboy:
son-of-drogo:
littlemissonewhoisall:
coolclaytony:
favinatriceneea:
paintmeahero:
forthegothicheroine:
Villains in Addams Family movies go to really unnecessary lengths to defraud them of the family fortune. These people just give it away on whims all the time. If I just walked into the house and started wearing their clothes and spending their money, they wold start introducing me as Cousin Intruder and forget there was ever a time I didn’t live with them.
Gomez in particular would enjoy your boldness, Cousin Intruder.
Oh shit.
The Addams family loves and greets every person entering one of their homes.
The Addams family adopted or married every person wishing to stay.
This is why the Addams family is full of freaks.
Of course.
So what we’re saying is, tracing the Addams’ geneology is damn near impossible and it’s just as likely that no living member of the family is actually a blood relative of the people who originally held the family name?
What I’m hearing is that Batman is actually an Addams.
He most certainly is
I mean, considering if you look at it in the light of a different story, the near (actual, factual) homicidal level of bond and love the Addams have for each other, the idea that they’re all adopted, the way that Bruce is often portrayed as a bit of an aloof, smarmy smarm in private, the possibility that young Bruce might not be wholly appreciative of his extended family’s eccentricities, of which his parents are the mildest of the bunch, the idea that those two parents are (distantly) Addams’ and get gunned down, well.
[Gomez]: I came, I came as soon as I heard
[Bruce]: I…I told you never to come back, I said, I said you were weird
[Gomez]: Please, my boy, to compliment me when you are so wracked with grief. *clutching hug* Dear Thomas, dear Martha, so full of life…
[Bruce]: *extricating* They….they fell in front of me…while he laughed…with mother’s pearls…
[Gomez]: The fiend! This dishonor cannot stand!
[Bruce]: And I felt….I felt it well up inside me, a black blood welling up…
[Gomez]: Yes, dear boy…
[Bruce]: I….will be vengeance….
[Gomez]: Yes….
[Bruce]: I…I will be the night!
[Gomez]: Yes!
[Bruce]: I….I am an Addams!
[Gomez]: YES!
[Bruce]: I. AM. BATMAN. *lightning, thunder*
[Gomez]: YES, YES!!! My boy, the rivers will run red with wonderful blood!
[Alfred]: *sigh* I’ll put the tea on and grab the foils then, shall I, sirs?
I AM DECLARING THIS CANON.
HEADCANON ACCEPTED
@copperbadge
I mean when you think about it, if Bruce Wayne is an Addams, everything he does makes sense. Gotham makes sense. Damian Wayne, trained vegetarian assassin, makes more sense if he’s an Addams.
Now that we have accepted this revelation, I want you all to think about a hypothetical situation in which Bruce brings Superman and Wonder Woman to meet the Addamses.
It feels like arriving home by dropping through the roof. Jarring, yet comforting. Diana and Clark, always two steps sideways from the rest of the world, feel stress they didn’t even know they carried anymore sliding away. When the little voice in their heads that constantly reminds them to play up the similarity and shove down the differences is quieted, the silence is deafening. And relaxing.
Morticia opens up to Diana after Diana offers her lasso to get to the bottom of the week-long war Wednesday and Pugsly have been waging. Truth comes out that they were working on new gadgets for Bruce to protect him, and an unfortunate accident was mistaken for a volley of war. Diana suspects Morticia is an exiled Amazon herself, but does not ask. Even when Morticia and Gomez ask her, and her lasso, into their chambers. No one asks about the noises from there.
It takes Clark a little longer. He clings to his “normality persona”, and gets noticeably more depressed and tense. It comes to a head at the family Night Picnick, where Morticia casually refers to him as Cousin Clark. Clark breaks the fork he’s holding, and excuses himself.
Bruce follows him, intending to tell him it’s OK, the Addams are strange, if you’re uncomfortable it’s perfectly fine to leave, I’ll come with; and comes up short. Clark is crying.
Bruce stops short. Reaches out for Clark with an aborted movement, as neither of them are terribly good at emotion. Turns out Clark is horribly jealous. If he had been raised by the Addams, he’d been accepted as he is, not forced to be more normal. And Clark doesn’t know how to deal with that.
They end up coming back often.
For everyone who wanted me to write it, @hyvetyrant already did!
copperbadge:
hyvetyrant:
copperbadge:
drgaellon:
magicianmew:
oddsboy:
son-of-drogo:
littlemissonewhoisall:
coolclaytony:
favinatriceneea:
paintmeahero:
forthegothicheroine:
Villains in Addams Family movies go to really unnecessary lengths to defraud them of the family fortune. These people just give it away on whims all the time. If I just walked into the house and started wearing their clothes and spending their money, they wold start introducing me as Cousin Intruder and forget there was ever a time I didn’t live with them.
Gomez in particular would enjoy your boldness, Cousin Intruder.
Oh shit.
The Addams family loves and greets every person entering one of their homes.
The Addams family adopted or married every person wishing to stay.
This is why the Addams family is full of freaks.
Of course.
So what we’re saying is, tracing the Addams’ geneology is damn near impossible and it’s just as likely that no living member of the family is actually a blood relative of the people who originally held the family name?
What I’m hearing is that Batman is actually an Addams.
He most certainly is
I mean, considering if you look at it in the light of a different story, the near (actual, factual) homicidal level of bond and love the Addams have for each other, the idea that they’re all adopted, the way that Bruce is often portrayed as a bit of an aloof, smarmy smarm in private, the possibility that young Bruce might not be wholly appreciative of his extended family’s eccentricities, of which his parents are the mildest of the bunch, the idea that those two parents are (distantly) Addams’ and get gunned down, well.
[Gomez]: I came, I came as soon as I heard
[Bruce]: I…I told you never to come back, I said, I said you were weird
[Gomez]: Please, my boy, to compliment me when you are so wracked with grief. *clutching hug* Dear Thomas, dear Martha, so full of life…
[Bruce]: *extricating* They….they fell in front of me…while he laughed…with mother’s pearls…
[Gomez]: The fiend! This dishonor cannot stand!
[Bruce]: And I felt….I felt it well up inside me, a black blood welling up…
[Gomez]: Yes, dear boy…
[Bruce]: I….will be vengeance….
[Gomez]: Yes….
[Bruce]: I…I will be the night!
[Gomez]: Yes!
[Bruce]: I….I am an Addams!
[Gomez]: YES!
[Bruce]: I. AM. BATMAN. *lightning, thunder*
[Gomez]: YES, YES!!! My boy, the rivers will run red with wonderful blood!
[Alfred]: *sigh* I’ll put the tea on and grab the foils then, shall I, sirs?
I AM DECLARING THIS CANON.
HEADCANON ACCEPTED
@copperbadge
I mean when you think about it, if Bruce Wayne is an Addams, everything he does makes sense. Gotham makes sense. Damian Wayne, trained vegetarian assassin, makes more sense if he’s an Addams.
Now that we have accepted this revelation, I want you all to think about a hypothetical situation in which Bruce brings Superman and Wonder Woman to meet the Addamses.
It feels like arriving home by dropping through the roof. Jarring, yet comforting. Diana and Clark, always two steps sideways from the rest of the world, feel stress they didn’t even know they carried anymore sliding away. When the little voice in their heads that constantly reminds them to play up the similarity and shove down the differences is quieted, the silence is deafening. And relaxing.
Morticia opens up to Diana after Diana offers her lasso to get to the bottom of the week-long war Wednesday and Pugsly have been waging. Truth comes out that they were working on new gadgets for Bruce to protect him, and an unfortunate accident was mistaken for a volley of war. Diana suspects Morticia is an exiled Amazon herself, but does not ask. Even when Morticia and Gomez ask her, and her lasso, into their chambers. No one asks about the noises from there.
It takes Clark a little longer. He clings to his “normality persona”, and gets noticeably more depressed and tense. It comes to a head at the family Night Picnick, where Morticia casually refers to him as Cousin Clark. Clark breaks the fork he’s holding, and excuses himself.
Bruce follows him, intending to tell him it’s OK, the Addams are strange, if you’re uncomfortable it’s perfectly fine to leave, I’ll come with; and comes up short. Clark is crying.
Bruce stops short. Reaches out for Clark with an aborted movement, as neither of them are terribly good at emotion. Turns out Clark is horribly jealous. If he had been raised by the Addams, he’d been accepted as he is, not forced to be more normal. And Clark doesn’t know how to deal with that.
They end up coming back often.
For everyone who wanted me to write it, @hyvetyrant already did!
